Topic: Politics
Every week we receive updates from the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee just reminding us how much Bush is dicking up and how much our previous financial assistance (none - ed.) has been appreciated. This week's email comes two days early and from yet another person we have never heard of or received a communication from in our lives; Executive Director J.B. Poersch. Mr. (or Mrs. for all we know) Poersch isn't a fan of Bush either, but makes absolutely no points other than a solicitation for money, because even though last week's fundraising bout was good, apparently $800,000 isn't nearly enough to run a successful campaign. We respond here with "no shit, idiot."
Sen. Conrad Burns was the number one Senate ambassador for convicted Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The good news is that it's working. The latest polls show Burns losing to either of the leading Democratic candidates. - First, we don't know what's working, but whatever. Second, if he's losing to either two, that means that combined they're beating him, but separately, they're losing. Send money, please.
The latest polls show Democrat Bob Casey with a strong, double-digit lead. I am certain that now is the time to keep the pressure on and put Santorum so far behind, he can't possibly recover. - Santorum sucks, but he hasn't started campaigning yet, and Casey's been campaigning for eight months now. He'd better watch his back if he wants to kick sleezeball out of office. Send money, please.
For some reason, Rick Santorum has been the focus of all of these emails, and it finally came to light to us. In fact, it's so simple we should be required to drown ourselves for not noticing sooner. Santorum is from Pennsylvania. Lots of Electoral votes. Ahhhhhhhh.
So, this week's message was? That's right. Democrats need money. Here's another ad for you.
