The Ever-Present Duke Lacrosse Team Scandal
Topic: Sports

We hate the collegiate institute that is Duke University. Not because everyone there is usually smart, or wealthy, or an ex-girlfriend of ours. No, no. It's because they think they're better than every other person in the world. Guess not assholes.

However, new evidence in the stripper/rape/lacrosse team case might exonerate the whole lot of them and show that public hysteria is the reason a student athlete was suspended, the team's season was canceled and their coach resigned. So here's the bracing evidence... wait for it...

DNA evidence just released proved that there was no match on the woman with anybody on the Duke men's lacrosse team.

Yeah. So after today's earlier announcement showing a timestamped photo of the woman already bearing the injuries she said she incurred inside the building where she supposedly raped, before the rape supposedly occurred, and now this evidence, it might not bode well for her case.

Oh yes, and there's also the woman's criminal past. Now while we don't rush to judgment and have in fact met some very nice girls that were exotic dancers and have even had some brushes with the law, this is just... damn. We're going to use the Associated Press's words because they did a hell of great job describing what she got pinched for.

The alleged victim stole the taxi of a man to whom she was giving a lap dance at a Durham strip club. Court records say she led a sheriff’s deputy on a winding chase at up to 70 mph, and tried to run him down as he approached the cab.

She pleaded guilty to misdemeanor counts of larceny, speeding to elude arrest, assault on a government official and driving while impaired, and spent some weekends in jail.

Yeah, that's right. Damn.


MSNBC

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