Thar she is, Miss Pyrat 2005
The Runners-Up (who become Miss Pyrat if the current Miss Pyrat gets killed) are 1. Bastardess and 2. Catalina Kate. The winner of the 2005 Miss Pyrat crown…

Trish Cavendish. Huzzah for Trish!

Trish hails from California. Trish’s interests include “reading, travel, and plundering Spanish merchantmen laden with gold,” though the last has been slow going of late. “I have been trying to find a good full-time pirate job, but haven’t had much luck as my resume has mostly office work.” If resumes included pictures that’d be another story. Trish’s skills include poetry and being the subject of a scrimshaw.

Nelson by Miss Pyrat 2005 Trish Cavendish

There once was a pyrat named Cooke
Who hired a stooge to help write his book.
The crew also had Flarq the harpooner,
Who doubled as scrimshawer and cartooner
And George, who served as ship’s shnook.



pirate mythtory part 1 by Miss Pyrat 2005 Runner-Up Bastardess

Hale! All ye pirates, blargmates and brigands I have a story to tell of fine lands. This yarn is rich with ancient lore and dates back to the beginning of pirate history when even Christ himself was not yet a man.

Though commonly perceived as thieving, unscrupulous drunkards manning treacherous ships at sea, pirates are also great men of adventure, bravery and uncommon wisdom. They are revolutionaries, rebels, leaders, independent thinkers and above all nonconformists. The annals of piracy, mythology, and mankind itself will attest.

Odysseus, the great King of Ithaca is a fine example of this type of pirate. A swashbuckler so brilliant he managed to outwit death, and Hades, king of the underworld. Ulysses, as he was also known was, like any good pirate king, a military strategist. He earned his first pirate stripe when he masterminded the Trojan horse and thus made the Greek siege of Troy possible. He cemented his title after ten years at the helm, banished by Poseidon to endure his great odyssey, as portrayed by Homer. Forced to visit many a strange land and faced with cannibals, witches, sirens and nymphs, Odysseus became a great hero by demonstrating his courage, strength and honour throughout his journey.

Bran, the prince of Irish mythology, back in the eight century BC set sail to the Island of Joy and the Land of Women. Bran sought for centuries, but when he and his men tired and were ready to go home they were warned that if they set foot on Irish shore they would age accordingly and turn to dust. With proof of this grim fate, and no chance of returning to human society, Bran set off to find a place where misery, sickness and death were unknown. The Voyage of Bran is pre-dated by the tale of Maeldun who sets out to find his father?s killers and avenge his death. Blown off course by a storm Maeldun visits islands inhabited by strange creatures and is witness to bizarre natural phenomena. After bathing in a natural lake his youth is renewed and upon finding his father?s killers grants them clemency.

It is through such adventures, and by the integrity of their approach to these challenges that brave men become heroes. These leaders, to whom we once turned for guidance, have now themselves joined the pantheon of the gods as imparters of wisdom and truth. Piracy, it would seem, is synonymous with the quest. And of course no decent buccaneer would purport to be one without a plan to discover the uncharted world, and the treasure that lies beyond the boundary of what is commonly accepted.


P.S. Want to be Miss Pyrat 2006? Get some tips from this book.