Travel Well, Kaylee!
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: walking on sunshine
Topic: Haru
So, this morning I took Kay to the vets where she awaited the Tennessee Transport- she is on it now and back to her real home. Even though I was sure I was done emoting over her, I did well up a bit when it came to the point. You know, saying goodbye and watching the tech walk her to the back through the door, and her not wanting to go and looking back to me. Shes a scared, confused pup, and in Tennessee where her exposure to new things is minimal I think she will live long and without spookiness.

When I got back, Reilly's fur on her head and neck were all wet from wrestling with Cody, who had arrived already. She was so happy! Cody was happy, and they wrestled and ran all over the yard, inside/outside/upside down. That's more like it. We will have Cody tomorrow too while Laura goes to a baby shower.

Last day for Kay
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Everywhere I where I go I get slandered, libelled, I hear words I never heard in the bible
Topic: Haru
Today is Kaylee Ann Mitchell's last day with us. I'd like to say I feel sad, but I actually feel like I'm almost finished a long race. I kindof can't wait to get back to normal. Tomorrow morning I will take Kay to the vet to await the transport, then go unwind at the field with Laura and Cody and Reilly. Then I just want to clean everything- start over. Wash all my dog towels and blankets, sweep and vacuum, put out different dog toys. (We rotate an assortment to keep things interesting.) I need to repair my invisible fence- Baltazar busted it when they put in my sewer stub, and while they know they need to fix it, I don't think I can wait on them. I think I can fix it myself pretty cheaply, its only outdoor stereo wire.

Raye has 1 week left of summer vacation. I feel like the last month has been very bad- my attention has been so divided, I havent really been good to anyone.

This morning when I let Kaylee out of the crate, she wiggled with glee and Reilly was happy too. they greeted and Reilly invited Kay to play, and of course she didn't understand at all. She got stiff and her mane went up and Reilly showed her silliness and bowed some more and rolled on her back, and made her lets play noises, but Kay had no idea what was going on and then showed submission and Reilly licked her. Rei bowed again and Kay went nuts and snapped at Rei. I sighed and took them on separate walks. Managing Kay has taken lots of time and energy. She saw Izzy again yesterday and started lunging and growling. I tightened her up and luckily a passing neighbor was able to scoop up Izzy and take her back to her owner, who was ta-daa- on the cell phone!

Baltazar has been smoothing out our road in preparation for repaving. It wil lbe nice to have quiet again and to have my car nearby. Its a journey to go down Stratton and try to avoid the trucks and holes. Its beep beep beep vroooooorrrm all day long, plus some CRASH and clang. no more blasts, luckily. When the trucks are gone, and Raye is in school and Kay is gone and its just me, my work and Rei- well, I will drink deeply of that pleasure.

Dog Behaviorist
Mood:  bright
Topic: Haru
Today Great Dogs asked me to call a behaviorist, Marjie, and discuss Kaylee. After listening to my tale and asking questions, Marjie has concluded that Kaylee lacks the social cues necessary to behave in family/society life outside her previous culture in Tennessee. The stress this causes her is exhibited in her snappines with other dogs, and guarding behavior as well.

Marjie pointed out that K snarled at Raye (or whatever we want to call what she did) while she was laying on her dog bed, not when she was in the middle of the living room rug- that K takes any item Reilly has away from her and noted the rawhide growling incident as examples. She guards me, not because she loves me, but because I am a resource. (I am not hurt that I am merely a resource, like the rawhide. I hope Reilly loves me though!)

I then remember how she hoards toys in her nest and steals my socks- she doesnt want me to chase her and play, she just puts them away from me and leaves them. Marjie says the solution for what she describes as a "project dog" like Kaylee is to flood them with 'resources'- toys beds rawhides until the value of things is so little they are not worth guarding. She said that at that point the dog will find something else 'rare' to guard- that is perhaps not a dog-item, such as the remote control to the tv. She explained that despite the 20 dog home she had in Tennessee, nothing was THAT valuable and Kaylee knew her place there with those dogs. Here, in my house, the stress of figuring out her place is freaking her out.

We discussed snapping at other dogs and Marjie explained that dogs have something like 57 'calming cues' that they use to say, hi, I'm ok, so are you, right? She said that living in her 20 dog home, that Kay didnot develop a working vocabulary of canine cues to help her adjust to other dogs on her own. I may not be remembering why she said that this may have happened.

Marjie says I have done everything that she could hope an adopter would try, and that she thinks I am a great dog mom. She says she'd be happy to help advise me when I need to get a second dog. I am feeling less guilty each day, the more I talk with these dog folks. I am not ready to get a second dog though.

The best thing for Kaylee is to go back to Tennessee where she is happy and comfortable and can run with all those dogs and avoid the stresses of going to non-home places and meeting strange dogs, not to be adopted here up North. I am also remembering that Villa keeps her dogs for a year- maybe not all but that she has indicated to me that others besides Kaylee have been there for that long. That means that Kaylee is not actually used to dogs coming and going SO much, and that - if the pack is a resource- most of the pack has probably been constant and plentiful during her stay. Not a carousel of social opportunity and experience that I misunderstood it to be.

Marjie says another word for foster people is 'collector,' and that the community of collection doesnt serve dogs all that well necessarily in their transition to family homes. So what is likely to happen is that Kaylee will go back to Tennessee, and her foster mom and she will be very very happy there and we Clearys will be happy here.

Tangentally, we discussed a bit about Reilly- she says that greyhounds are like cats- it is not unusual for them to not be wicked affectionate. She also said that I don't necessarily need to play wingman for Reilly, because she is doing a good job of telling the rude boys to back off on her own and I should let her experience that success a bit.

For now, I await the call from Great Dogs about where Kay should go as she makes her way back to Tennessee.

in between
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Haru
Well, i spoke with Great Dogs this morning and told the whole tale-- they didnt blame me or try to talk me out of it, nor did they say 'give it another week,' as I feared. the volunteer I spoke with said that it sounded like she did need a home without other dogs, and told me to not feel awful and that she herself had to return two dogs that werent fitting right. It is heartbreaking, but its really the best for everyone concerned. Today has shown us nothing unusual or improved. Reilly got a cookie and carried it out of the kitchen to eat in peace. As she crunched it, some peces fell on the floor and Kaylee ran in and began snapping and growling at Rei to leave those cookies. I held her scruff and pressed her down and said NOOOooo, and then isolated her. No cookies.

I have been rather flaky and almost forgot Rayes swimming lesson. After swimming, we took Kaylee out for some fun time because she IS a good dog and I will miss the Good Kaylee. We did water play with the hose which she loves, and she got good and soaked. We kept Reilly inside. Then i sat in the sun with her and brushed her fur and dried her off and we walked around the yard and picked blueberries. I let Reilly out and she brought me a ball- Rei likes to carry things- which Kaylee took away from her and put in the backyard. She didnt want it, she just didnt want Reilly to have it. *sigh*

Great Dogs asked if I needed Kaylee out of here immeidately, I said she could hang here till the weekend if need be. My contact said she would talk to the head coordinator and make arrangements to have her fostered or placed and get back to me tomorrow.

Back to Kaylee
Mood:  blue
Topic: Haru
I have been way busy with my power skating clinic over the weekend- which was great!- and have not had time to post, but I am really down now because I have decided to send Haru/Kaylee back to Tennessee- it sort of feels like I have taken on a commitment and failed at keeping it, in that it requires more work than I anticipated based on the information I had at the time. One one hand if you love someone, the amount of work to fix something ideally could never be insurmountable- with enough love- but things are not ideal and everyone's place they are coming from is different. In human relationships this is also sometimes the case. I have concluded that while Haru is a fantastic little dog, she needs a different family than ours.

Back up a little...I have had difficulty with Haru- snapping some more when i thought we were beyond that, and since we finally had rain a large number of frogs were active and became killed on the road, then sunbaked to frog jerky, which I am trying to use on our walks to calmly teach Haru Leave it and Drop it. It is hard to stay calm. At the field she has attempted to eat dead things, which i confiscate and discourage, but all of this is taking its toll. At the field Sunday morning, I just said screw it, and let her run and eat whatever, till she found a prize everybody wanted, and I reached into her mouth to find a rabbit's lower jawbone, complete with nasty teeth- disgusting! Of course we were in the big pack, so I had two other dogs waiting for me to give the prize to one of them, but i ushered them on and casually tossed the jaw behind me. I was pissed. I drove home thinking- I'm going to go home and look Haru in the eyes and tell her to give me a sign, what to do. I didn't get a chance to do that, for I put my boots in the sun to dry and was coming back in the slider when she projectile vomited water and black fuzzy stuff at my feet. I am not superstitious enough to take that as my sign, but I guess I should have.

Haru continues to show no interest in Reilly. She shows her teeth at her routinely, and snaps at her. Yesterday morning, Haru was laying near the entrance to my studio when Rei came to the doorway and spoke to me, I spoke to Rei happily and told her I'd come play in a minute. Haru got up and growled and snapped at Reilly.

Snaps are not a single snap, they have always been a sudden, rapid succession of several snaps, sometimes accompanied by snarling, as it was this time. Chopchopchopchopchop.

To be a Cleary Dog means you go out in the world, it's being social with other dogs, in the car, behaving at Petco, the bank, the vet, to friends' houses and to my mothers'. It's enjoying dog guests such as Cody and Cleo. To be CJ's dog, it means staying home, having a fenced yard routine and one best dog pal to play with. Colleen and Jim have no children, a fenced yard: they do not expect Mocha- a Staffie mix- to run at the dog field, go to all these places. They work with her with an individual trainer for aggressive dogs. they love Mocha and have the capacity to make it a priority to work on her needs.

At class last night, Haru did the training well, I think she could move to new skills faster actually, but she did not socialize well with the others. She showed her teeth and snapped at several of them. I stayed late to talk with the trainer about her. She has her dog, Fisher, with her as Demo Dog. So we sat on the floor and I told all about Haru's story- how she came sight unseen (dog unmet), what her bio said, how she lived with many dogs in Tennessee and was very submissive there. How here she has shown no interest in playing with anyone- human or dog- but me. How she has fared at the field, how I have made excuses for her behavior ( "well, she was new." "well, it has only been 2 weeks") to justify keeping her. Haru lay there on her back and i petted her and Fisher was nearby, also in a down. I described her "surprises"- snapping at Raye suddenly and how the only dog she has shown any positive behavior toward was Yankee. That even when she seems joyful and relaxed she still didn't want to play with Reilly when Rei invited her.

She told me to let go of Haru's leash, so I let her go do whatever she wanted in the training room, loose with Fisher. She wandered down the other end and he checked her out, but she became tense, she didn't lift her lip, but seeing her tension with Fisher, the trainer called him back. We let them wander some more and talked. She told me that it is going to cause me/my family a lot of stress to have a 'hard' dog for a second dog, and she told me that yes, she has two dogs but that having the second one has nearly ruined her marriage, and has 'emasculated' Fisher. She said he is less the dog that he was and not the best retriever he can be since they got the second dog. She has to keep the second dog out of social situations- leaves her home- and she requires a lot of work to keep her on track. They have just had a baby and if Dog2 gives her any reason to not trust her, she will be re-homed. Dog2 is in her third home, and our trainer did not know that she had issues when she added her to the family.

Haru was a few feet from me as Fisher sniffed her again. She stood there with her ears down- not back- and seemed to be tolerating him, suddenly she snapped and roared and Fisher snapped and roared. It sounded awful but i dont think they touched each other. I was sitting on the floor for this action, got a good look. yipe. I got Haru's leash and the trainer got Fisher. She said that she subjects poor Fisher to all kinds of dogs, that he's okay. She said if he gets snapped at he usually runs away, and that Haru was doing 'Fear-biting', which requires a lot of work to stabilize. She said that 'aggressive dogs' will see a dog and go after it, but that Fear Biters are sudden and unpredictable. I broke into tears, realizing that I do not have time or energy to rehabilitate Haru, and feeling really bad about myself for bringing home a dog sight unseen, when any idiot can tell you 'dogs are a lot of work, everyone knows that.' This is a big blow for me.

I see now that Reilly is so easy, she is motivated, she has her own issues, but they are not dangerous ones, she is not cuddly but she loves to play tug with me and wrestle with me and run with me. She is trustable off leash, she is fearful of men she meets, but in a back-away kind of way, and she does not like to be forced into situations with bossy males and will show teeth but nothing more- nothing to the extent that Haru is afraid of other dogs and goes haywire.

Haru is a very loving soul, she was good in Tennessee in the large group of dogs there because she knew her place in that social milieu. If she is to be placed in a forever home somewhere else, it needs to be a family with a woman in it, no kids or older kids, no dogs or a small dog her size and male, cats OK, and a fenced yard- with no expectation that she have to interact with or compete with other dogs. She stayed at home in Tennessee, it occurs to me, she did not go off-territory. I could keep her at home and only take Reilly out like usual, but I have lost hope that she will play with Reilly or that me taking Reilly out with me will sit well with her when she cant stand seeing me pat or speak with Reilly. She gets between us and shows her teeth. She would be a FANTASTIC pet if all that was asked of her was to stay at home and be petted and tickled and rubbed and be some lady's best dog. She is not - i have to admit it and i am ashamed- a good Cleary dog. I dont know that I can trust her with Raye, I know I can't trust her to be nice to Reilly.

I feel personally rather to have failed and to have put Haru through a lot of travel for this. I feel that I know in my instincts that she must go, but that perhaps externally it looks like I have not given her enough time to relax here, or that I am giving up on her when the going gets tough. I guess this is not time to be all noble and prideful about it. What does waiting another week or two do? Am I waiting for a clearer sign for her to have to go? Will she draw blood before I get it through my thick skull? Can I be adult enough to not let my emotions prevent me from making a decision with the best interests of all concerned in my mind, because let's face it -if Haru is doing this from fear it means that she is afraid with the situations she is placed in. She needs a situation that will not place her in fear. (her foster mom will never believe this, but here it is) Her perfect home is not this one and she is not the right dog for us, despite the best efforts of rescue and myself and her foster mother. I began calling her her foster name, Kaylee, again on the way home from training last night- because I think she is kindof back in foster already, and I dont feel like forcing her to learn 'Haru' anymore.

photos form the field today
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: hot christmas
Topic: Haru
It's hot, and the dogues know it...Rei, Haru Haru...

i dont think she is a shepherd
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: teen titans
Topic: Haru
Even though she looks like a tiny German Shepherd, I think Miss Haru is actually a corgi mix. It's the fox-face, and her long, barrel body. Her tail is short, not stumpy but short for her size, and a GS is big and long and slinky. Corgis can have GS colors, and tend to have white on thier front as Haru does. She doesnt have a shepherd shaped head at all.

Her ears are down, but they pop up when she listens. She sits funny, with her legs wide apart. Her torso is just really wide. I'm going to exercise her well, and get her in shape and see what that reveals. She is a bit of a porker.

jury is still out on how to handle snappy episodes. I feel better tonight than I did this morning. She certainly doesnt try to hurt Rei, but is communicating - albeit in a bitchy way- that she wants the toy. If I can smooth out her jealousy, Things might be okay. She was fine with Raye today.

Neighbor Jessica was bitten by a rottie this morning. She has a butterfly bandage over her eye from the top teeth and below her lip, more cuts from the lower teeth. Her arm is bitten- it happened so fast she thinks she may have brought her arm up to her face and that kept the facial damage from being worse. That was the first bite. She also has a bite on the leg from the second attack.

The owners left the dog tied outside on a very long lead that allows it to get all the way to the front of the property. The owners are well known to the local police and despite what the owner says the dog has bitten before. Jess has summer off from college and was working at the town's day camp for kids when her teacher said to go to her house and get a hose. She took the teachers; 7 y.o. son, whohad tourble getting the hose and asked Jess to help. He introduced her to his dog, who wagged its tail and the boy patted it, Jess petted it and bent down to kiss its head at which point it jumped up and bit her face. She got cleaned up and went around the other side of the house to keep away from the dog, but she didnt know its lead was so long and it ran up and bit her leg before she could get back to the car. I think it is curtains for that dog, and for this teacher's job as child-care responsible person for the town.

Lets take a moment to underscore teaching proper dog safety to kids and people, a well as raising and maintaining your dogs responsibly. It is awful to think of what could happen if one of my dogs bit someone, and while I dont know Haru very well, I do trust Reilly absolutley at the dog field to never harm anyone, child, grownup, or dog.

early returns on the new dog
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Haru
We have had Haru/Kaylee for a few days now- and there's good and bad to be tallied.

The good is that she is healthy, and not rambunctious, she is clean and soft and affectionate and very much bonded to me.

The bad is that she has twice suddenly growled at Raye when she was patting her nicely, has been quite snappy at Reilly regarding acces to me and some toys, and nearly pulled a Cody-style Devil Dog on me last night when I reached for the rawhide she was chomping. I'd say it was only a 1 or a 2 on the 0-5 Devil Dog scale, but the thing is it rises to 5 instantly if it does at all.

I have been just chalking it up to nerves and not innate personality, since her foster mom says she never did any of those things in Tennessee, was completely pliant and submissive and allowed other dogs to take her toys all the time, no questions asked. After the rawhide growl, i feel rather defeated though.

On one hand, we have only had her a few days and she is in a strange place with not much footing. But on the other hand, I am a parent and I can't have a dog that I cannot trust completely with Raye under any and all circumstances. Reilly is absolutely trustable, she gives up her toys and chews and doesnt guard her food- If she doesn't feel like being petted she just gets up and moves.

Is this her nature or did I teach her this?

Can H/K be taught to respond this way in this home structure? Have I been makign excuses for her behavior up until now and need to admit that this wasnt a good idea? Or am I giving up when the going requires some effort? Do I need to double up on the leadership, the Laura way?

She is not showing any interest in playing with Reilly, only me, which is not the point.

I chose her because she was dog-social, used to meeting new dogs all the time, submissive, small, cute and because her bio said "you can't find a dog with a better temperament." Good with cats, kids and loves other dogs.

right now she is me-centric, sometimes submissive, sometimes a crab, guarding items, and not always good with the kid. She will put her head on Raye's lap in the car but the sudden snarling is really disturbing. Raye is respectful of animals and doesnt torment them- she knows to look for unhappy ears and tails.

yesterday, foster mom says this dog is unused to ever-present children, and has only seen them for a visit occaisionally.

Other bad news is that Reilly broke out of the invisble fence yesterday- she felt sick and needed to crap, which she wont do in her own yard. I coudlnt take her outside, and I didnt know what she wanted to do, so I let her out with the zap collar on, and she went and I calle dto stop, to wait, she kept going, got zapped and ran straight forward, instead of back. I had to chase her up the street barefoot on the dirt and stones of our blown up road, and carry her back into the yard.

I dont feel liek a very good dog mother. I feel out of control of it all and that I made a bad decision to get another dog. I think that the fact that she had to come all the way from Tennessee is a weight and that it was stupid to risk that she might not work out and putting her through all that travel. She is coming from a home where she was happy and settled and lived for a year, not a place where she was unhappy or in transition.

Furthermore, I have lots of TigerCat work that I have not been relaxed or focused enoguh to do well, and have not been paying attention to Raye as much as I would like from even before the dog arrived. I am her mother first. I dont feel with the new dog that I can just take a break from home and go to the zoo with Raye or something. I am sick of driving in the car.