A Yarn by Smart Ken
Being landlocked from the ocean by a thousand miles in every direction, I never had the opportunity to experience the sea. During a period of travel I found myself near a rundown port in the city of
Darwin near the Timor Sea. This region of the world is full of pirates. During my childhood, I read Treasure Island and wondered what it would be like to be a pirate. In pursuit of my childhood fantasy, I started to hang around this dive of a pub near the docks in search of the modern day pirate with the hopes of joining his crew. After going to this pub for several weeks, I hadn't made any headway with the locals. They would ignore me at every turn. I would buy them drinks and try to get in on the conversation to no avail. I was desperate to get in on the high seas adventure of the pirate's life.

Finally, the captain of one of the boats came up to me and said, "Mate, I have seen you come here everyday and I would like to invite
you to a party."

"I'd love to come to your party," was my enthusiastic response.

"There'll be lots of drinking," he said.

"No problem Captain, I can hold my own," I responded.

"There'll most likely be some fightin'," the captain warned me.

"I have been in a few bar room brawls, no worries there either mate," I said.

"And there will be plenty of sex," he informed me.

I was absolutely
thrilled with this prospect and I had one question to ask the captain. "How many people are going to be at this party?"

"Just myself," came the response.


P.S. Here's a scrimshaw of Smart Ken by Flarq:

P.P.S. Send in a pirate-related yarn 500 words long or shorter to [email protected] and if it gets posted, Flarq'll do you too.

P.P.S. There's more scrimshaws and other useful pirate info at: PiratesOfPensacola.com.