Who Are the Freakies in Your Neighborhood
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Tool
Well, I’m not in moving Hell anymore…more like moving Purgatory. I have a decent chunk done, but not enough. And can I just tell you that I almost crapped when I realized how much crap I have? Seriously! Jeesh! I have to admit that my sister was right—I seriously need to do a major purge and garage sale accompanied by a call to the Good Will for a massive ol’ pickup. Seriously! How much random shit does any one broad need? I tell you…

So, on the cool side, several neighbors have stopped by to introduce themselves. It’s also kinda spooky AKA Who Are the Freakies in Your Neighborhood.

My doorbell rings and after realizing it was not my cell phone ringing (I am beyond not used to a digital doorbell) I open the door to find some old broad with scary psycho killer eyes on my porch. You know those stone cold pale-colored eyes that feel like winter? I call them psycho killer eyes. Anywho, she proceeds to say “Hi, my name’s Jackie—welcome to the neighborhood…we’re putting our house on the market and moving to Arkansas.” I just stood there for a minute blinking and then I replied “Have I annoyed you that much already?” To which she started laughing and that was my first meeting of a neighbor albeit a temporary one.

It went down hill at a rather rapid pace from there. Weirdest one so far was the broad from down the street that I am pretty sure rides the short bus AKA window licker. She just was not right in the head folks! The dogs are madly barking and running around as I answer the door and this weird looking blond gal is standing there and says “You need to check your dogs.” Huh? I look down at the dogs and look back up and she says “Your dogs are out.” What? I say “Uh, they’re both right here.” To which she responds “Do you have kids?” and I say “Er, no.” and she replies “It’s ok if it’s just you.” What?! Now I am starting to freak. She starts telling me some long ass weird story about her horse and I can feel myself totally zoning out on her to ‘la-la-la I’m not listening’ land. All I can do at this point is start trying to steer the conversation to a rapid and unspectacular end and not soon enough.

I have had more random, previously unknown, drop in visitors in the last 2 weeks than I have had in the last year and none of the bastards brought liquor. It’s getting beyond annoying having arbitrary folks ringing my door bell on a regular basis. Can’t they see that I am naked, swilling beer, watching Springer and unpacking as it were? Jeesh! Inconsiderate swine! Who do they think they are anyway? My neighbors or something?!