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<h2><center>Job Interview Nightmares</center></h2>
<p>
<font size="+1"><b>O</b></font>dds are, you've had a job interview or two in your life. And, although I imagine it's possible to have a good experience, most of these interviews have probably been something of a fiasco. You've stuttered, tripped over carpeting, insulted the company president or accidentally exposed yourself physically, emotionally, and perhaps even politically; the interviewer has insulted you, mistaken you for someone else, poured coffee on your lap or, in one way or another, embarrassed both of you. You've just been forced to submit yourself to the unfair scrutiny of God-knows-who; from a few hopeful words, your best silver-dollar smile, and a carefully chosen outfit, you've been judged either able or unfit, with no hope of a reevaluation. To many, the job interview is like something out of Franz Kafka, a surreal nightmare over which you have no control.
<p>
<font size="+1"><b>A</b></font> while back, we asked you to share your worst job interview experiences with us and to tell us what, if anything, you would do differently if you could relive the experience. The interviews fell into roughly four categories: rude, misleading, inappropriate and "my fault," but there was some blurring of categories. For example, some interviews were both rude and misleading; while others were a little bit your fault but mostly their fault. Here are some of the worst war stories we read:
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<blockquote><blockquote>
<br>
<b>faithling:</b> The interviews were hell, sheer hell. Every job seemed to be starting off as a receptionist. (How come men never start out that way??) On one interview, the interviewer — a lecherous, icky loser — kept staring at my chest and telling me that I was "a very pretty girl" and that he was sure he could get me a job at a front desk somewhere. At another interview — for a great-sounding job in "marketing" that my college career office set me up with — I was asked if I was comfortable making phone calls. I politely asked what it was I was marketing, and she said I would be selling magazines. "Telemarketing?" I asked. She started shouting that it was a very important job that could lead to "big things" (maybe a free subscription to Cosmo?). Then she told me I wasn't qualified anyway and that people like me who "ask too many questions" wind up going nowhere.<p>
<b><a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_jmd.html">jmd</a>:</b> I went on an informational interview at the MIT Press, with the hope of learning more about the world of publishing. I had been connected to a senior editor by mutual friends, and was told the encounter would be low-tension. Ha! It turned out I have a typo in both my résumé and my cover letter, and on top of that I had walked in the rain to the editor's office, and resembled a drowned, albeit suited, rat. But the best is yet to come. As this courteous but serious man was explaining how he made the transition from physics to publishing, I had a physics problem set happening on my own person: My bra completely let go and slid to my waist. The underwires spent the next 40 minutes at the bottom of my tucked-in blouse. I was never so glad to end an interview in my life.
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<font size="+1"><b>D</b></font>on't feel too bad, jmd, you're not alone. FelicityC had a similar experience:
<p>
<blockquote>
<b>felicityC:</b> I had a run in my pantyhose that was very noticeable. In fact, I'm sure it <b>was</b> noticed because I got a 15-minute lecture on job appearances, etc. I had gotten the run a few minutes before the interview with no time to change; it was terrible.<p>
</blockquote>
<font size="+1"><b>A</b></font>s drbarbj found out, sometimes a perfect appearance isn't enough to get a job. Sometimes one has to be born and raised in the right place to get certain jobs:
<p>
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<b><a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_drbarbj.html">drbarbj</a>:</b> As a Southerner (who also has a PhD), I interviewed for a high-level management position at a firm in New York City. I made it through two days of interviews, up through the chain of command. Everyone thought I was perfect for the job, offered ideas on where to live, and planned a follow-up meeting to sign contracts. Then I met with the president, who stated that, with my Southern accent, I could not work in NYC. I was dumbfounded. I responded that my skills were much more important than my accent, but she would not reconsider. I don't believe there is anything I could have done to change the outcome, but I have often imagined her reaction if I had responded, "Ya'll are full of it" and walked out.
<p>
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<font size="+1"><b>T</b></font>hat wouldn't have been too uncommon a reaction. A number of respondents remarked that if they could do it again, they'd have been just a tad bit harder on the interviewers.<p>
<blockquote>
<b><a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_dpurcel.html">dpurcel</a>:</b> A few months back, I interviewed for the position of Director of Public Policy for a large labor organization. The letter I received from them indicated that I was one of a few people selected from a very large response pool. I prepared for a solid week for the interview and was totally keyed up when I walked in the door. Unfortunately, two minutes into the interview, it was apparent that the woman I was interviewing with (we'll call her Idiot) hadn't read my résumé or cover letter. After two or three cursory questions, she said, "You're not experienced enough for this position, this isn't going to work out." I quickly responded, using techniques I'd learned over the years, like, "Give me an example of the types of situations I'd be dealing with and perhaps I can find something analogous in my background." "You have never experienced anything like this job before," was her reply. On and on it went — I kept rebounding, she kept pushing me down again. Finally, she said she appreciated my resiliency and drive, but that this just wasn't going to work out.
<p>
How would I have handled this differently? I probably would've bailed out earlier and lambasted the Idiot. Yes, I would've burned a bridge, and yes, that would've been the less professional response. But when it became clear that Idiot wasn't going to cave, I should've pulled the parachute and saved myself some time and trouble, preserving my dignity in the long run.
<p>
</blockquote>
<font size="+1"><b>O</b></font>ne should never let a bad interview undermine one's dignity or self-respect. I mean, who are these people after all? It's not like they're your parents or your teacher, right?<p>
<blockquote>
<b>DTS:</b> Last year, I interviewed with an investment bank in NYC. I had two interviews on the same day and the agency that had set up the interviews said the place loved me and wanted me to start on July 1. I had just one more interview, and that was with the VP whose department I would be working in. The agency said I wouldn't have any contact with him but, since I was paid out of the VP's budget, he had to get a look at me — but "don't worry" it's really just a "rubber stamp" type of interview. I arrived the next day at 8:00. The VP didn't even know I was coming, so that helped get us off to a real cozy interview. About 20 minutes into the process, he pulled out a red marking pen and went through my resume — LINE BY LINE! He highlighted everything in red. I felt as if I were in the principal's office. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. Can you imagine that, a rubber stamp? I would liked to have stamped him on his little *!*!*!
<p>
<b><a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_kdavid.html">kdavid</a>:</b> My first job interview out of college, I was one nervous geek. The interviewer sensed my nervousness and told me that any other interviewer would have abruptly halted the interview and sent me home. He then told me that people like me end up in back rooms with low-paying jobs. What would I do differently today? If I knew their company was still around, I wouldn't mind paying them a visit, but it wouldn't be for a job interview.
<p>
</blockquote>
<font size="+1"><b>F</b></font>or some, the biggest problem isn't giving a good interview, it's <b>getting</b> a good interview. That means asking the right questions and seeing, not if you'll fit the organization, but if the organization will fit you.
<p>
<blockquote>
<b><a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_joshuaglenn.html">joshuaglenn</a>:</b> I've actually only ever had two job interviews, and I landed both jobs. In both situations, I went in looking to give a good impression, but I didn't try hard enough to get solid answers about things like what my duties would be — and what they wouldn't be, how often I'd get a job performance review and whether those reviews were tied to raises, whether I'd have my own office or not, and things like that. I'd like to have a checklist of great questions to ask when being interviewed...
<p>
</blockquote>
<font size="+1"><b>A</b></font> checklist is a handy tool, Josh, but how about when you ask the right questions and the employer just plain lies to you?
<p>
<blockquote>
<b>Runaway:</b> A major department store was having a job fair. I talked to a recruiter and explained that I had a BA, so I didn't want to be a clerk — I wanted to work in the corporate office. She assured me that I was an ideal candidate for such a position. When I arrived the next Saturday for training, I realized that they were training me to be a "sales associate," a glorified clerk. I only lasted three days, and I have never been so incredibly dissatisfied with a job.<p>
Here's what I learned: 1. Narrow your job search. Figure out what you want to do, and, if need be, take an aptitude test and find out your interests. 2. Ask questions! Any interviewer who doesn't appreciate questions (like faithlings) isn't worth working for. It's better for both you and the company if you know as you leave whether you will take the position if offered.
<p>
</blockquote>
<font size="+1"><b>"E</b></font>ntry-level" can be a pretty lowly (not to mention lonely) place, but nobody, and I mean nobody, started as low as <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_jmcintire.html">jmcintire's</a> quasi-fictional "Joe."
<p>
<blockquote>
<b><a href="../../../../www_subdomain/bin/profile/view_jmcintire.html">jmcintire</a></b> Joe just graduated from college, with a degree in business. He gets an interview with a major corporate headquarters, where they tell him he can start an entry-level job next Monday. Joe arrives at the office building next Monday and the head Janitor meets him at the front door. The Janitor says, "We'll start you on mopping the floors today." Joe says, "Wait a second, I have a college degree!" The Janitor replies, "Oh, yeah, that's right. I'll have to show you how."
<p>
</blockquote>
<p>
<font size="+1"><b>M</b></font>aybe these tales will make you feel better, let you know you're not alone in the world; maybe they'll show you that the Kafkaesque torture called the job interview is a tried and true ritual shared by workers everywhere. Or maybe your first interview is tomorrow and these stories have totally freaked you out. Either way, thanks for contributing and good luck out there.<p>
<p align="right">
<b>— Aaron Dubrow, Editorial Assistant</b>
</p>
<br>
</blockquote>
<p>
<hr>
<p>
Got more to say on work-related subjects? Join our <a href="/">Work Smart conference</a> and get it off your chest! This conference is part of an effort to include you (yes, you!) in the creative process of a book Tripod will be publishing — probably in the Fall of 1998 — with Hyperion Press. As we made the rounds of publishers, we made it clear that any book we published would be authored not just by Tripod's staff, but by the entire Tripod community — which means the editors, the columnists, Tripod staffers, and you members, too. This conference is just one of many opportunities you'll have over the next six months or so to let your voice be heard not just by us, but by all the people who'll see this book when it's published. So please understand that by participating in this forum, you're also submitting your
words for possible inclusion in our book — with your byline right next to
those of your favorite Tripod editors and columnists. Thanks for helping us
out. We hope to see you in print!</font></b><p><p>
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