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This week: When the boss is a bully...
Letters -- boy, do we get letters! From micromanagement to outright abuse, we hear a lot from Tripod members who are attempting to cope with bullying bosses. Whether it is an immediate supervisor or the grand poobah at the top of the food chain, having to contend with lacerating comments and threats can make the workplace unbearable. Have you ever had to deal with a bullying boss? If so, how did you deal with the abuse?
For past survey results, check our survey archive. A new Work & Money survey is published each Wednesday.
GooRoo: Learn more about the business that you are working for than the boss knows and better yet...the owners. Then go out and compete with them. 'Til then send a lot of pizzas to the boss's house, a few emergency vehicles, get your boss a fowarding line for his phone TO 911!! Nothing will be more effective than giving your boss a bigger problem to focus on...heh!Gerg: Regarding the person who is being hassled by the boss... buy a small hand held tape machine and keep it in your pocket. Next time he hits on you record it ... make a few recordings .. then contact the Labor Relations board for your area. Let them listen and they will contact his boss. Then just sit back and watch his fur fly. If you dont have a local board (and I hate to recommend this) see a lawyer.
FstCapital: I've heard a lot of this corporate abuse. I've worked for myself for a great deal of time and I know a bunch of people try and don't succeed. I believe the key is staying out of a rut and keeping motivated. When I have a lax day, I can count on Tripod to motivate me onto more days of success.
smith_a_cat: By all means, screw your employer every chance you get. Steal pens, paper, laserjet cartridges. Steal the ram from your boss's PC on one of those long evenings... you know, when everyone else is gone and you've got the multimedia speakers in your box blasting Nirvana.
Mamasan: Show him/her what you're made of...don't let them shake you. Become efficient, well-informed, and on top of things; so well that your boss's BOSSES gain more confidence in you and your abilities than those of your boss. Then, through continued perfection, your boss will appear to be less on the ball than you are. When the time is right, get that promotion that makes you your boss's boss and make him/her really start sweating!
(Remember the old adage...watch out who you step on on the way up, for you may meet them on the way down!)
Vollan: I think the most important thing is to keep from behaving like the boss. Keep cool and do your job well. Get informed about the company, make "friends" (preferably on the boss's level or even higher), and make sure he/she is aware of your contacts. If it is really bad, make a plan for how to get out of the boss's grip; follow Mamasan's advice. Finally, make sure you get as much as you can out of the company -- such as education, free internet time (!), network as much as you can , teach yourself whatever the company can teach you. You may even steal some pens if that makes you feel good! Finally, you can always get another job.
bugtussle: When your boss starts to bully you, ask him/her directly, "Are you bullying me?" and see what kind of reaction you get!
tigerchick: I think that there is a pervasive attitude among employers that human resources are as expendable as old 286 computers. It hurts me to see that companies mistakenly think they are succeeding by downsizing...this climate makes it easy for bosses to bully. Attitudes need to change about employees, nationwide!
Konchus: Always be straightforward and honest in any situation. Tell your boss you don't like his actions and why. Also, stay well informed of the business and your rights and act on them. If your boss isn't creating a work environment that is beneficial to the job at hand, let him know. If the bullying continues, let his superiors know. You should never have to take abuse to do your job!
bozothec: Time, if you have it, really helps. I had to deal with my boss's boss a few years ago. Just the knowledge that I had a Voice Mail from him made my insides start to churn. This person is now back in the same position after a run at the top, and I am reporting to said individual. The most remarkable thing is that either he or I have changed considerably, but there is no evidence of the former person who could cut people down in 10 seconds. If you can, find out what makes the boss tick and become expert in that -- or wait for time to catch up with a bully.
johncar: My opinion: You're not going to change a bullying boss. Do what I did -- quit. The boss has the advantage of knowing he can fire you. If you want to go toe-to-toe with a person like that, you had better keep your wits about you at all times and KNOW you have evidence to take with you to court. You cannot rely on fellow employees to back you up -- no matter what they tell you in private. AND, you can't go around telling stories about the boss that you can't prove in court.
Surendran: Analyzing bullying, it appears to me that it is case of perceived superiority or ego on the part of boss and his assessment of the weakness on the part of the subordinate. Hence, there are two sides to the equation. Sometimes due to stress levels on a boss going up, occasional bullying could take place unintentionally. In those times, the subordinate cab more skillfully or diplomatically handle the situation by ignoring the incident and carrying on the work more efficiently. Important point here is that fire cannot be extinguished by fire, but by only water and the like. Human emotions are not very different. Hence when bullying takes place, be more considerate.
Now, considering the subordinate, one has to ponder why he has given a chance for the boss to bully him. If he had some committed some mistake, then it is better to aplologize and improve the performance in future. Even in such situations, bosses don't have the right to bully. In such a situation, obviously there is a weakness on the part of the boss which can be exploited by the subordinate by excelling in the job and catching the attention of the super boss, which would the person as well as the organization.
In such a dynamic work situation, there is no single solution of how to respond. One rule is that ego can be cured only be practicing real humility. If someone attracts bullying, his own vibrations are conducive for that. How to change that? By being more humble and efficient, one can teach that bullying does not pay in the short run and long run.
What is important is that how subordinate converts every single problem or bullying to his advantage. That realy depends upon the individual's accumulation of positive behavioral traits and his skill in using them as the situation dynamically emerges at each step. Important point here -- the individual must be doing only positive things, no matter what happens to him. In such a situation, by the Law of Cause and Effect, only good things can happen to him. I am aware that this is more easily said than done. But, all successful people have this trait and use it efficiently.
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