Tripod: Candi Strecker: Laugh-Proof Résumés

<body bgcolor="#993333" link="#0000FF" vlink="#663399" text="#CCCCCC"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tr> <td valign="TOP" align="CENTER" width="178">  <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="170"> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/logo-map.html"><img src="../../../../img/nav/www_subdomain/logo.gif" alt="Tripod Map" border="0" height="58" width="170" ismap></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/universal-map.html"><img src="../../../../img/nav/www_subdomain/universal.gif" alt="Member Services Map" width="170" height="45" border="0" ismap></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/zones-map.html"><img src="../../../../img/nav/www_subdomain/zones.gif" alt="Zone Map" width="170" height="69" border="0" ismap></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="LEFT" valign="TOP" width="100%"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/adm/imagemap/pods-map.html"><img src="../../../../img/nav/www_subdomain/pods.gif" alt="Pod Map" width="170" height="18" border="0" ismap></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td align="CENTER" valign="TOP" width="170" bgcolor="#999966"> <form name="pod_list"> <select name="pod_name" onchange="self.top.podRedirect(this.options[this.selectedIndex].value);"> <option value="">What's Your Interest?</option> <option value="Activism">Activism</option> <option value="Alt.Music">Alternative Music</option> <option value="Crafty">Arts & Crafts</option> <option value="Beer%20Lovers">Beer</option> <option value="BookTalk">Books/Reading</option> <option value="Carburetor%20Junction">Cars</option> <option value="Christian%20Fellowship">Christianity</option> <option value="TechBits">Computers</option> <option value="Cooking%20Capers">Cooking</option> <option value="Stone%20Circle">Earth Religions</option> <option value="Extreme%20Sports">Extreme Sports</option> <option value="Mod">Fashion & Style</option> <option value="Freebies">Freebies</option> <option value="Gamesta'">Games</option> <option value="Holiday">Holidays</option> <option value="Alternative%20Health">Holistic Medicine</option> <option value="Funny%20Bone">Humor</option> <option value="Mac%20Computing">Macintosh Computers</option> <option value="Film%20Buffs">Movies</option> <option value="Musicology">Music (general)</option> <option value="Critters">Pets</option> <option value="Photography">Photography</option> <option value="Science%20Fiction">Science Fiction</option> <option value="Spirituality">Spirituality</option> <option value="Sports%20Fans">Sports (general)</option> <option value="TV%20Lounge">Television</option> <option value="Second-Hand">Thrift</option> <option value="Travel">Travel</option> <option value="PageSlave">Web Design</option> <option value="X-Squared">Women's Issues</option> <option value="Smallbiz">Work Issues</option> <option value="Writers'%20Block">Writing</option> <option value="Zine">Zines</option> </select> </form> </td> </tr> </table>  </td> <td valign="TOP"><base target="_top"> <basefont size="3"> <form name="navbar"> <table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" align="RIGHT"> <tr> <td valign="MIDDLE" align="MIDDLE"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/work_money.html" target="_top"></a></td> <td valign="MIDDLE" align="MIDDLE"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/work_money/index-html/anchor_toc.html" target="_top"></a></td> <td valign="TOP" align="RIGHT"> <select name="pod_name" onchange="self.top.podRedirect(this.options[this.selectedIndex].value)"> <option value="">Related Pods</option> <option value="Freebies">Freebies</option> <option value="MacComputing">Mac Computing</option> <option value="Second-Hand">Second-Hand</option> <option value="Smallbiz">SmallBiz</option> <option value="Travel">Travel</option> </select></td> </tr> </table> </form> <br clear="ALL">  <p> <p> <font face="verdana, arial, helvetica"><br><br> <font size="+1"><b>by Candi Strecker</b></font><br><br> <b>Published September 9, 1997</b><br><br> <font size="-1">PAGE ONE</font> <br><br> Joe and Frank and Buzz have spent a tough weekend manning a job fair booth at a trade show. They've collected dozens of résumés from programmers and artists who want to work at their tiny multimedia company. Wonder what happens next?<br><br> The brutal truth is: they sat down and had a good laugh. Yes, they fortified themselves with coffee and diet Pepsi, put that stack of résumés in the middle of the table, and one by one verbally ripped them to shreds. They didn't do this because they're heartless weasels looking for a cheap giggle  really, they're three of the nicest guys imaginable. Submitting each résumé to a Trial By Laughter was just the simplest way to sift out those with potential from the truly terrible.<br><br> When I saw Buzz a few hours after this session, he was still snickering over some of the things they'd seen on those résumés. As he recounted one boner after another, I realized that employers aren't just looking at the facts we put on résumés  the tasks we've accomplished, the skills we've mastered. They're also trying to get a quick impression of whether we're geeks, or pests, or axe-murderers. If something on your résumé makes a potential employer laugh, whether it's a misplaced comma or an inflated claim about your crucial role in developing some product, you're probably toast.<br><br> Above all, Buzz's tales from this Résumé Comedy Hour emphasize that neatness DOES count. When you submit a sloppy, smudgy résumé with obvious spelling and grammar errors, you're handing employers ammunition to use against you. "Attention to detail" means a lot in the computer industry, and employers there hope that a debugged résumé proves that a person can debug software code too. But it's an attribute almost every employer looks for. Even McDonald's wants those burgers flipped Exactly Right.<br><br> So let me repeat what every book and article on résumés will tell you: check and re-check your résumé for misspelled words and grammar problems like mixing up its/it's or your/you're. Ask your smartest friend for proofreading help, too. There's always some error you'll miss fifty times that he or she will catch in a second. Watch out for the goof-ups that creep in when you cut-and-paste phrases and sentences. It's easy to wind up with odd-looking extra spaces between words, or to lose the spaces that should separate words and sentences. And beware of that weird category of errors that a computer's spell-checker won't catch: Buzz spotted the incorrectly-divided words "block buster" and "book keeping" among these résumés.<br><br> Once you take your résumé to the printer or copy shop, make sure you look over the results. You don't want a crooked résumé, or one with a big smear in one corner.<br><br> The sure-thing phrases recommended by the most popular résumé-writing guides didn't always thrill these guys. "I am seeking a leadership position" sounded to them too much like "I want your job!" "I enjoy being in charge of groups" might mean you can't get along with superiors. And to these guys at least, the popular "seeking an engaging full-time position" or "a challenging position that will fully utilize my experience" sounded like a whine of "I expect you to make me happy."<br><br> <hr><font size="-1">CONTINUE WITH<br> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/work/columns/strecker/970908rezb.html">PAGE TWO</a></font> <p> <p> <form name="navbar"> <table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" align="RIGHT"> <tr> <td valign="MIDDLE" align="MIDDLE"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/work_money.html" target="_top"></a></td> <td valign="MIDDLE" align="MIDDLE"> <a href="../../../../www_subdomain/work_money/index-html/anchor_toc.html" target="_top"></a></td> <td valign="TOP" align="RIGHT"> <select name="pod_name" onchange="self.top.podRedirect(this.options[this.selectedIndex].value)"> <option value="">Related Pods</option> <option value="Freebies">Freebies</option> <option value="MacComputing">Mac Computing</option> <option value="Second-Hand">Second-Hand</option> <option value="Smallbiz">SmallBiz</option> <option value="Travel">Travel</option> </select></td> </tr> </table> </form> <br clear="ALL"> </td> </tr> </table> </body>