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From Chris Warren, Software Engineer:

I recently spent three days at the Internet World '97 convention in New York City, wandering about with a few other Tripodians, all of us trying to get that perfect level of shirt wrinkled-ness that says, "I know tech and if you don't then you should fear me and go get someone who can speak my language" without saying, "I am a tech person and tech is what matters. Business issues are irrelevant to me," and all of us searching for the few real gems of useful information hidden among the almost over whelming piles of Genuine Cubic Zirconium. It was an extremely interesting and enlightening experience, from both technological and a sociological perspectives. By the end, it was pretty clear that, rather than a single event, it was almost two distinct conventions that happened to both be in the Javits Center (the really big building that hosted IWorld) at the same time.

In the first of these, there were the dancing girls, the singing quartets, the stage magicians, the straitjacketed man on a unicycle, the beautiful spokesmodels (I hadn't realized the profession existed until this convention), and the other shameless attention getters attracting a multitude of blue and grey suited almost-clones to submit to preaching, pleading, and just plain babbling (e-business, e-commerce, e-buzzword, e-give-me-your-money-to-get-YOUR-business-that-vitally-important-Internet- edge-it-needs). T-shirts, dolls, stressballs, rulers — take them, free, just listen to us for a few short minutes. It's like a carnival; the marks wander about with dazed and bored looks on their faces seeking something to brighten an otherwise dull afternoon (with apologies to Tom Lehrer). As they leave, they know that they MUST get their business on the Holy Internet or they will be Damned to Eternal Irrelevancy and Crushed Beneath the Heels of Their Competitors, but they really don't know or care about what's actually going on.

And the other half is composed of the individuals wandering from smaller booth to smaller booth with the because-my-boss-told-me-I-had-to-wear-something-nice wrinkled shirt and quizzing the poor sales people to the point where they break down in embarrassment and beckon for their programmer/technical person. These are the enthusiasts who know about the technology, and the people from the companies that are already on or are a part of the Internet, trying to get a clue of whats going on, whats going to catch the public fancy, what's that crucial bit of knowledge/software/hardware to give them a leg up on the competition and catapult them out of Startup and in to Established & Profitable. These are the people actually standing and chatting with the folks in the Israel Pavilion (a section where a bunch of Israel-based companies had their booths; much of the really cool and innovative stuff was in this area, but they were all small companies and didn't have the big theaters to demo their wares). The flashy demos are nice, but they don't mean anything unless the technology behind them is smart, scaleable, flexible, and, above all, affordable. It might be a beautiful VR universe, but at $200,000+ it just ain't gonna happen. They spurn the big booths and the loud music and the decadence of the really big companies, but still strive to achieve it for themselves.

Despite this dichotomy and the incredible chaos ensuing, it seems to work pretty well. If you ever get the chance, I would highly recommend attending an event like this (see the note below for my tips on surviving a big convention with your sanity intact). If nothing else, you get a good sense of why the Internet is as crazy as it is — all these groups trying to give it their own personal twist and extract a bit of return on their investment, all the individuals striving to show just how individual they are, immense amounts of money and effort being spent by business to try to establish some stable presence of their own on the Internet without destroying the excitement that makes it worthwhile, and many more factors — all pushing and pulling this medium in as many directions as can be imagined. The speed at which things change and adapt is utterly dazzling and whatever companies or technologies come to the fore in the next several months, you can count on somebody being there to push it as far as it can go. We are most definitely in for some very interesting times.

Chris Warren, Software Engineer (1/2/98)

TIPS FOR ATTENDEES

1. Wear really comfortable shoes; you'll do much walking and standing.
2. Make very sure that whatever container you bring (and you should definitely bring one) to hold handouts and schlock (schlock — n. — a generic term for the variety of marginally useful items handed out at conventions by booths desperate to get your more-or-less sole attention for a few minutes. Typical examples are: t-shirts with a company logo on it, baseball caps similarly decorated, stress-balls, sliding puzzles, etc.) that it has very well padded straps because it will get HEAVY by the end of the day.
3. Food prices are in the astonishing ranges normally found only in movie theaters, so if you want snacks you should probably bring them yourself or prepare to pay absurd amounts of money for food of mediocre quality.
4. Make sure that the bag you pack your overnight clothes in is waterproof, in case you have to carry it through rain and snow to the subway station because no cabs will pick you up at the convention center. If your bag is not waterproof, all your clothes for the next several days get completely soaked. (It happens. It sucks. Trust me.)

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Read more "Letters from Tripod" in the archive.