Question 3

Tripod: Give me your best line to use to bring up contraceptives with a new partner. Make up a motto or saying.
Do you have an answer to share? Click on the question.

Lydia
Female Escort

Well, you know, I just say, "So, what kind of condoms do you use?" Actually, I don't say anything. If he doesn't pull out the condom, I'm not interested in him. I'm very impressed when a guy carries condoms, and if he doesn't, I'm really not interested. Or if he tries to initiate sex without condoms, then that guy scares me, and it's definitely a no-no.

John Troyer
Creator of the Safer Sex Page

I think you just have to be straightforward, and ask what kind of contraceptives they are using, and what kind of contraceptives they would like to use. People should know that with contraception, you also have to worry about disease prevention. Right now sexually transmitted diseases -- aside from AIDS -- are epidemic. So just being on the pill doesn't cut it.

Susan Yates
Gynecologist

My recommendation to people is simply to be as honest and straightforward in the sexual relationship as they would be in any other relationship. To be able to feel safe and confident with speaking freely, works better than any special line.

Bob
Straight Male

I just say, "should I use a condom?" That's all.

Kyoko Okamura
Harvard Peer Counselor

If your partner says, "No, I don't want to put on a condom because I won't feel anything," then the woman says, "If you don't put it on, then you won't feel anything, at all." My suggestion is to bring it up before anything happens. Just say, "What do you think of condoms?" Just be straightforward. Ask. "Do you want to put on a condom now?"

Michael Franz, Gay Male
Editor, Gaysource

I've never had any sort of motto or anything. I've actually never had any problems with partners. Every partner I've ever had has been very positive about the use of condoms. There's been no problem whatsoever. It's never been an issue. Whenever I've had a new partner, one or the other of us would just reach for them.

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LydiaFemale Escort

John TroyerCreator of the Safer Sex Page

Susan YatesGynecologist

BobStraight Male