The Oscars of Blooks
The Blooker Prize, for blogs that get published as books ("blooks") announced its 2006 Short List today. Guess which whale-killing journal is among the five blooks left standing in the fiction category? If you're stumped, or if you want to see the other Short Listees, click here.
In
Other Whale News, Beluga Whales in Alaska are Mysteriously Disappearing. Shipmates, if one of you can solve this mystery, you'll win a beer:
Cheap, Quick and Easy Whale Blubber!
You know the old problem: You're filming a whale-cooking scene in a movie, and you want to do multiple takes, but it's a pain to have to kill more and more whales so you have fresh blubber? Here's a recipe courtesy of a Hollywood special effects-type guy for cheap, quick 'n easy fake blubber (or, as insiders call it, "Stunt Blubber"):
Ingredients:
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup white glue
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons Borax
Directions:
Combine the water and glue. In a separate bowl mix the water and Borax. Then merge the two stirring constantly until you got yourself blubber. Then take it on set and break yourself a leg.
A Fair and Balanced Review
Here's a review of The Whale-Killing Journal that will appear next month on Bilgemunky.com, which I think is the best pirate site in the Seven Seas--and thought so before they gave my book a decent review. There is one factual error (can you spot it, shipmates?), but I think I'll keep it to myself lest the bilgemates go to fix it and, given my luck, get electrocuted.
"If you read only one happy-go-lucky account of whale slaughter this year...
Gus Openshaw is just your average joe, seeking to make a life with his wife and new son. When his plans are thwarted by an angry whale (who swallows his family whole, along with Gus's right arm), Gus must find a way to make that all-too-common transition from humble catfood cannery worker into whale hunting avenger. This is easier said than done, especially considering that in these kinder, gentler days whale killing is generally frowned upon. One is certain to become entangled in all sorts of legal fiascos. But that's only the beginning - mutinous crews, renegade princesses, foreign navies, discount arms dealers, and (of course) pirates all serve to make Gus's adventures a sight more interesting than he'd like.
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